


No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

by AuthorToBeNamedLater



Series: Keeping Up With The Raptors [9]
Category: Hockey RPF, No Fandom, Original Work, Sports RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hockey, Alternate Universe - Sports, Calgary Flames, F/M, Gen, Hockey, Implied Sexual Content, Married Couple, National Hockey League, Raptors, Seattle, Sports, Sports Radio, Washington
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-24
Updated: 2013-05-24
Packaged: 2017-12-12 19:52:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/815392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthorToBeNamedLater/pseuds/AuthorToBeNamedLater
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chivalry is not dead, but it might earn you a phone hearing with The Shanahammer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

**Author's Note:**

> Terry O'Reilly is real, and he really did go into the stands after a fan once (Though not for reasons as noble as our Stanislav's). You can see the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpbD6W7YT5A&feature=player_embedded
> 
> I don't often include real people as characters in this series but using Shanahan was just way too easy.

Amy Cibulka did not attend hockey games often. She knew some wives went to nearly every game, at least nearly every home game, but she wasn't one of them. Amy loved her husband, but she barely understood his job despite the concerted efforts of many other Raptors wives (namely Katie Sheridan) to change that. Forechecking, backchecking, D-to-D, cycling the puck—it was all a mystery to the schoolteacher from Manitoba who, had she not married a hockey player, would have zero interest in the sport.

But at least a couple of times a year, Amy considered it good practice to show up for a game. So tonight she had gotten together with Gunnar Norgaard's girlfriend Lise McKenna, bought a pair of tickets four rows up from the Raptors' bench, and had thus far the two had spent a pretty boring game (no score halfway through the second period) gabbing the same way they would anywhere else.

“I need to pee again,” Amy sighed as the crowd _Ooooh_ -ed at a Raptor's shot that missed the net. Every drop of liquid she drank these days went right to her bladder.

When Amy rose from her seat, she collided head-on with a tall, burly, tattooed man. “Oh, I'm sorry,” Amy apologized, trying to meander out of the way.

The thug wouldn't move. He smelled like stale beer and cigarettes, and Amy felt her stomach turn. “Hey, sexy lady.”

Amy raised an eyebrow at her admirer. “I think you've had a few too many.” She pushed him aside, a little more forcefully this time.

The thug still wouldn't get out of Amy's way. He was starting to make her a little uncomfortable.

“Excuse me.” Amy tried once again to get to the aisle.

“Hey, why don't you beat it?” Lise jumped in. “Can you not see she's both pregnant and married? Don't think she's very interested in you.”

The thug gave a sneering smile and ran his hands over Amy's protruding belly. A few other fans were starting to take notice. “Don't matter to me.”

Amy slapped his hand away. “Get away from me!”

“Hey, wanna leave the young lady alone?” A guy in a Seattle Mariners cap asked, giving the unwelcome visitor a shove that he ignored.

.

.

.

Stanislav Cibulka glanced briefly into the stands as he went to the bench for a line change. Or at least, he meant for it to be a brief glance. It turned into an astonished stare.

Some punk ( _Probably a Flames fan,_ Stanislav thought) was standing in front of Stanislav's wife, obviously blocking her exit from her seat. Lise McKenna was jawing at him, but the guy wouldn't move.

“Bulk, what's up?” Ryan Nederlander asked. “Come on; we're gonna get called for too many men.”

The punk started pawing at Amy's stomach, and another fan shoved him. Stanilsav felt a surge of protective anger. “Excuse me.”

The smallest Raptor hoisted himself onto the boards, scaled the glass, and charged through the seats.

“What is he--” Ugur Bozkurt asked from the bench.

“Bulk!” Pete Lochner hollered over his shoulder. Play had now stopped as both teams watched the scene unfold.

.

.

.

“And, ah, looks like Stanislav Cibulka's...going into the stands,” Obenshain said from the broadcast booth.

.

.

.

“Get your hands off my wife!” Stanislav ordered, placing himself between Amy and her attacker. The punk easily outweighed Stanislav by 70 pounds, but the little Czech didn't care. He'd fought bigger.

“Stan--” Amy tried.

Stanislav brought his stick across the punk's face, sending him sprawling to the stairs. A collective _“Oh!”_ came from every fan who could see what was going on.

“Are you all right?” Stanislav turned his attention to Amy.

“Yeah, yeah, I'm fine,” Amy said, staring in shock at the form on the stairs, which was groaning incoherently. “I still need to pee, though.”

“What's going on here?” a security guard said, descending the steps.

“You OK, ma'am?” Another guard asked Amy.

Amy nodded. “Yes, I'm all right.” She kissed Stanislav's cheek. “I love you, sweetheart, but I really need the washroom.” She ambled past her husband and up the stairs.

“All right.” The first guard observed the punk. “Let's get this guy out of here.”

Stanislav looked around at all the stunned spectators. “What?!” He asked, still outraged that some drunk loser had touched his wife.

A tap on his arm. “Will you sign my program?” A little boy, maybe eight years old, asked.

“Sure.” Stanislav took the boy's program and Sharpie, signed it, and headed back to the ice.

.

.

.

Obenshain and Wheeler watched stupefied as Stanislav nonchalantly climbed back over the glass, out of the stands, and resumed his position on the ice.

“I haven't...” Obenshain cleared his throat. “Don't see that very often.”

“Wow,” Wheeler said.

“Yeah,” Obenshain said dumbly. “And it looks like, for his chivalry, Stan will get a game misconduct.”

Unhappy yet resigned, Stanislav headed down the tunnel.

.

.

.

The game went on, the Raptors taking a 4-3 overtime victory to the dressing room.

“I have a phone hearing with the Shanahammer tomorrow,” Stanislav announced as soon as the team was back.

“See you in a couple of weeks,” Zhenya said.

“He probably won't suspend you,” Mikey said. “He just wants to make you squirm.”

“The Shanahammer” was Brendan Shanahan, the NHL's head disciplinarian. He hadn't been at the job very long, but he'd already earned a reputation for handing out suspensions like candy. He was also infamously inconsistent.

“He'll suspend you. He has to for something like that,” Jones said.

Every other Raptor gave the winger a stare that let him know his honesty was not appreciated.

“Amy OK?” Janko asked.

“Yeah, I think so,” Stanislav said.

“All right, here comes the press,” LaJeunesse said. “Everyone cover up and look alive.”

The Raptors who were not yet fully dressed fixed themselves up quickly before the reporters came in. Not surprisingly, they jumped on Stanislav immediately.

“Stan, what was going through your mind when you went over the glass?” A female reporter for TSN asked.

Stan hated giving interviews, and he was less amenable tonight than usual. So he told the reporter exactly what he thought.

“The asshole had his hands on my wife,” Stan bit out. “Would you have wanted your husband to stay on the ice while some jerk felt you up?”

.

.

.

“So a bigger story than last night's 4-3 OT win against Calgary,” Phil Latham drawled as the _Latham & Val _show moved through the 7:00 hour on ESPN Radio AM 710, “Is probably Stan Cibulka doing his Terry O'Reilly impression.”

“That was impressive,” Fred Vallander admitted. “I mean, little Stan Cibulka...pretty impressive he could hoist himself over that glass. And for those of you under...40 or so and don't know who Terry O'Reilly is, he played for the Bruins back in the 70s and 80s and he once went into the stands after some fan who harassed another Bruin.”

“Yeah, look it up on YouTube, it's something elsem," Phil sad. "So last night, Cibulka said he saw a fan harassing his wife. “So he scaled the glass, charged into the stands, and clocked the guy with his stick.”

“ _The_ [bleep] _hole had his hands on my wife. Would you have wanted your husband to stay on the ice while some jerk felt you up?”_ The station played Cibulka's sound byte from after the game.

“Pretty strong words from Stan Cibulka,” Fred mused.

“Yeah, he's normally pretty well-mannered with the media,” Phil agreed.

“So, OK, Phil.” Fred shifted in his chair to regard his cohost. “You played the game. If you saw someone doing that to Charlotte would you have done what Bulk did?”

“If I could have gotten over the glass in all my goalie gear, you bet.”

“You wouldn't just sit there and let that guy grope your wife.”

“No! Absolutely not!” Phil said. “And Zhenya Rusakov seems to agree with me.”

“ _I wouldn't have stayed on the ice, I can tell you that,”_ Zhenya's Russian accent, which had gotten fainter over 20 years in North America, came over the airwaves. _“If someone's bothering my wife I have to take care of her. Any husband would do that.”_

“And you know what?” Fred said, an amused smile playing at his lips. “You watch the video, Bulk signed a program for some kid on his way back to the ice.”

Phil chuckled. “Kid's gonna remember that forever.”

“And Cibulka got a game misconduct for his efforts. He has a hearing at 2:00pm Eastern—that's 11:00am for us—with Brendan Shanahan to see if they'll hand out a suspension,” Fred said. “Phil, what do you think? Suspension?”

Phil sat back in his chair. “I mean, the guy was protecting his wife and all...but at the same time, you don't want guys going into the stands during games. I'm pretty sure any player who saw what Cibulka did last night would go after the thug even knowing a suspension was coming.”

“So he's got a phone hearing; the most he can get is five games,” Fred said. “What do you think? Over or under three?”

“I'll take three.”

“Three exactly?”

“Yeah.”

“OK. I'll take five just to be contrary.”

.

.

.

**ESPN Seattle**

**Seattle Raptors forward Stanislav Cibulka has been suspended for five games after going into the stands to confront a fan harassing his wife Wednesday night.**

**Video from the game shows Cibulka looking up from the ice as he goes back to the bench for a line change, then hoisting himself over the glass, charging into the stands and hitting the fan with his stick.**

**According to the league's ruling, “fans are untouchable, no matter what they do...any player who attacks a fan is going to get suspended. That conduct is unacceptable.”**

**Cibulka received a game misconduct and was ejected. The fan, Taylor Pavelski of Spokane, suffered a broken nose but is not seriously injured and does not plan to press charges.**

**When talking to reporters following the game, Cibulka said “The [expletive] had his hands on my wife. Would you have wanted your husband to stay on the ice while some jerk felt you up?”**

**"We're not happy Stan got suspended, but we understand the league's perspective,” said assistant coach Vince McElroy. “We have players to step in and fill his spot, so we'll just carry on with the guys we do have.”**

.

.

.

At noon the next day, William LaJeunesse sat in his office, impatiently drumming his fingers on the desk as he waited on hold with the NHL headquarters in Toronto. He had a few words for the league's Vice President of Player Safety.

LaJeunesse liked Brendan Shanahan. The three-time Stanley Cup champion was a good guy, had arguably the toughest job in all of professional sports, and in LaJeunesse's opinion did it pretty well. This phone call was the equivalent of a baseball team's manager running onto the field to argue with the umpire—more to show the team he had their back and make the umpire think twice about the next call than change any results.

“ _Brendan Shanahan,”_ The filtered voice came from three time zones away.

“What's your deal, Shanahan?” LaJeunesse asked without preamble.

There was a sigh from Toronto. _“William LaJeunesse. How are you?”_

“What is your deal?” LaJeunesse repeated.

“ _At the moment you are, so speak your grievance.”_

“Five games?” LaJeunesse asked. “You're giving Stan five games?”

“ _He went into the stands.”_

“Yeah, I know what he did! The guy was protecting his wife. His _pregnant wife._ Tell me you wouldn't have done the same?”

“ _Of course I would have. And I would have gotten suspended. Listen, I get that Cibulka was going after that guy harassing his wife. But going into the stands is still going to get you a minimum of five games. It's the rule. I'd love to change it but I can't. You're lucky he didn't get more; there's a lot of people here who would have given him ten considering he hit the guy.”_

LaJeunesse nodded to himself. He'd made his point. “All right, I just have one more question for you.”

“ _And what's that?”_

“Are you gonna make one of those videos? You know, point out that Cibulka obviously went over the glass and--”

“ _Have a nice day, Will.”_

LaJeunesse chuckled and put the receiver in its cradle. When he looked up he saw Vince McElroy standing in the doorway.

“You're a sadistic son of a bitch, you know that?” The Raptors' assistant coach said.

.

.

.

“Well, that's it,” Stan sighed, dropping onto the couch in his living room. “A two-and-a-half week unpaid vacation courtesy of the NHL.”

“You guys are on a homestand until next Wednesday, right?” Amy asked from the kitchen.

“Yeah. That'll be...three of my five, I think.”

Amy leaned over the couch—such as her five months worth of baby would allow—and kissed her husband's forehead. “Well, I'll like having you around more.”

Stan looked up.

“I may have a few extra items on the honey-do list for you.” Amy gave a sly smile and ran her fingers through Stan's hair.

“Like what?” Stan asked, though he already had a pretty good idea what.

“Guess you'll just have to follow me upstairs and find out.”

Stan took his wife's hand and followed her up the staircase.

Maybe a suspension had its advantages.


End file.
